Sleeplessness makes me panicky. The night before last I woke at 3 AM and was unable to return to sleep and then last night I was so tired I was unable even to read let alone write. I went to bed around 6 PM unable to stay upright any longer. I did fall to sleep but woke again around 10 PM. I browsed around the internet for an hour or so, still unable to concentrate and finding myself easily upset. I mean I was getting upset over Obama’s heckler. Which led to getting upset about the fact that we seem never to learn from history, which led to me getting upset over human irrationality, and when I get to that point, the only thing to do is quit the day. So I went back to bed. And lay there.

I have a job of course. During times when I have a less rigorous schedule, sleeplessness at night is not such an issue. I simply take a nap. Or two. But now I have to get up, go to work, and actually be able to think. My desktop reads (and I have a dual screen system) “Do your work. Don’t be stupid.” I do try to live up to that each day. It’s ever so much harder to do that with a platform of sleep deprivation.

Anyway, enough whinging. I did find myself feeling that feathery black wing of panic last night as I lay there contemplating another day of problems without another night of sleep, but I did finally fall back into mindlessness. I woke only an hour early and so feel as if I can manage with eye drops and black tea. Hopefully there won’t be too many nasty little surprises today.