I have reached the point in my life where my past decisions and bad habits have caught up with me. I need surgery to correct some of the problems but there isn’t much point unless I first correct the behaviours that got me here in the first place. Consequently, in my doctor’s words, he needs to know that I “control the food” rather than the food controlling me. So I am now on a mission to divorce feelings from food.

One immediate consequence is that I now do not have an easy suppressant for my natural rage. This will cause some disruptions in my life, I suspect. For example, last night the young men (aged 18 or so) in the apartment above mine decided to party.  They find chucking beer cans particularly stimulating. They also seem to truly enjoy throwing glass bottles on the sidewalk and street. I suppose they like the splendid noise they make as the glass goes zinging across the pavement. My daughter happened to be taking the dog out as one of those contests was occurring and one empty (a can luckily) hit the dog. I ratted them out to the landlord and made an instant decision about how to escalate the situation. Next time I am going to cut their power at midnight (I have the breaker box in my apartment). The time after that it’s the police and the power. If they still don’t get it, then when I wake at 05:30 I will accidentally bang on all their doors and what windows I can reach.

Now my doctor says that it’s OK to blame everything on him.  He’s a pretty nice guy (and funny too), but I’m not sure he realizes what he’s let himself in for. He thinks I should start a blog where I bitch about all the exercise I have to do and about how hungry I am and how I can’t meet my emotional needs so easily any more, etc etc and just rant about how mean he is and how everything is his fault. I suspect that’s what he had in mind, a nice safe anonymous whinging.  The thing is that the rage (which is better than self pity in my humble opinion) I’ve been suppressing is much more likely to come out face to face.  He just better hope I don’t kill someone, because damn if I won’t bring him to dock with me.

So, Dr. B, you OK with me telling my nasty neighbors that their sudden loss of power is your fault?