By all rights I shouldn’t be happy. All my joints are aching so every movement hurts. The one philosophy class I wanted to take just got cancelled because the school thinks nine students isn’t enough. I need surgery and every day there is a chance the pain will resurge and I will be back in the hospital and the only thing that seems to be working is a low fibre diet, and on top of that I am supposed to lose weight before the surgery, and of course the standard weight loss diet is high fibre and I have symptoms today and the apartment above me is populated by four 18 year old young men who think the beer bottle toss from the second floor is a high art form and I found out on Tuesday that T (sister to me from the Rez) is dying of cancer (she has 3 kinds!) and probably only has about 9 months to go and there is a chance I (at just that age where childrearing is safely in the past) may be the best person to take over the rearing of my (much loved but very needy and soon to get needier) deaf 11 year old niece.

Yet, I am happy.  The sun is out after a November of 1 day of sun and although it is cold the air is clear. Is it unreasonable to be happy under these circumstances? And if it is, do I care?