Please allow me to introduce Stupid Fish. Personally, I think of him as Jeremy because he has ‘tude and he looks a bit like the eponymous man I once knew. You may not agree but I don’t much care.

Jeremy lives alone in his fish bowl with two humans as companions. His fishy isolation occurred because he ate the others (fish, not people, although could he breathe out of water, I would not wager on the humans). His current companions (the humans) are useful to him because they provide a clean habitat, they feed him, they even provide entertainment.

Jeremy looks like a cichlid to me, but I mostly what I know about fish is that they like water. Still, fish like Jeremy are said to be social animals but, as with humans, that often means some are dominant and some get eaten. Here’s where the entertainment comes in. Having dispatched his fishy competition, he seems to have taken up playing with one of his humans.

I should explain that the male human and I work together. This is how I heard about this. His wife (Jeremy’s female human) has had waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on her hands of late and, to use up the time (while the project wound it’s way to completion and her husband was freed up to do fun stuff), thought to teach Jeremy some tricks. She seems to have succeeded in providing Jeremy some, probably deeply desired, mental stimulation. (Why they think of him as “Stupid” is beyond me. Perhaps a touch of projection? speciesism? evidence of being name-challenged? a psychic connection with Jeremy? – He got frustrated calling them over and finally yelled “Come on stupid, get over here and make faces at me!” I suppose that the slight glub-glub of Jeremy’s bubbles was not comprehensible to primate ears so I understand both Jeremy’s aggravation and the human slowness to respond, but an interesting idea for his name’s origin.)

According to the male human, the female was encouraged to puff out her cheeks at Jeremy. He responded appropriately by flashing his gill plates and reddening the pigmentation of his face. By this behavioiur he encouraged his female human to new heights of cheek puffing (probably reddening her face as well).  What I don’t know, but suspect due to the law of irony, is that what they are engaged in is mating behaviour.

I wonder if she realizes? I bet Jeremy does. Stupid, indeed.