October 5th, 2011

dude, it’s my birthday

This comes from The Perry Bible Fellowship. Downer dude. But funny.


Here’s the artist, Nicholas Gurewitch speaking on the subject of religion:

How do you feel about religion?
Like everything very beautiful, they can be rather intoxicating. If I ever have kids, I’ll probably raise them to avoid having methods of worship. Faith exists outside of religions. I think religions get in a lot of trouble because they assume otherwise. Everytime someone comes to my door to tell me about Jesus, I cannot for the life of me figure out why they don’t simply LIVE Jesus’ teachings. Talking about Jesus, and telling people he’s great seems very ineffectual to me.

via guava

October 3rd, 2011

heh!

If I were teaching a critical thinking class again, I would start with this.

September 30th, 2011

funny, funny, nerd, nerd

Really funny, especially at 2:08-2:12.

My day started when I dropped my untasted venti Americano on my front door step.  It was followed (after the curse words) by a re-run of the Starbucks trip followed by several meetings spread throughout the day. It wasn’t that bad really. I mean after I got the coffee down.

I took with me on this day a slim volume called Going to Seed Dispatches from the Garden and a file folder of some of my old poetry. I used Going to Seed as a palate cleanser. (OK so some of my old stuff wasn’t that bad. It was bad, but not bad if you know what I mean. No Vogon-worthy verses.)

I did love Goodrich’s book I have to say. What a delightful sense of humor he has. And most of his stuff is just a few stanzas, something I prefer to be honest.

Going to Seed
        by Charles Goodrich

        January evenings, I sit by the fire, salivating over the latest
fashion magazines—Burpee's, Wayside Gardens, Johnny's Selected
Seeds—dreaming that I'm still a young stud, still up for double-
digging a new bed, getting it on with the latest hybrids.

        Once I was biodynamic. I used to do a lot of heavy mulching.
I tried my hand at companion plantings, played around with French
intensive. There was a time I'd dibble seed into any dirt I came
across.
        But I'm done sowing wild oats. I'm not planning to graft a
branch on some other guy's tree. Anyway, who cares who can raise
the biggest zucchini. I'm happy just looking at the pictures.

A delight heh?

Here’s another that’s more reflective.

The House of February

        On the far side of the river, there's a grove of old
cottonwoods, ragged trees with worm-splintered crowns. Some have
toppled into one another's arms, and all are bare now in early
February. Here and there in the crotches of the branches, the canopy
is clotted with big, messy baskets—nests of the great blue herons.
        When the trees begin budding in another month, the birds
will return, carrying sticks as long as their beaks. They'll line the nests
with feathers and moss, lay clutches of eggs, and hatch their naked,
ungainly chicks.
        But today, I don't want to think about eggs, or hopes, or
starting over. I just want to savor the desolation of those trees, the
slate sky, the empty nests.

I really do like prose poetry of this kind and caliber.

via Wimp

ngrams viewer (Try comparing the terms “witch” and “satan”. Don’t you find that interesting? How much has to do with gender do you think?)

This is so funny I can hardly stand it.

It seems that a local reader found a secret map in a public archive that showed a hidden stairway into the monastery’s library. He let himself in. On numerous occasions. He visited their library, read their books, and was never disturbed. He got a little miffed.

In an atmosphere of general suspicion among the nuns and monks of Mont Saint-Odile, the librarian, Alain Donius, called the police to report that entire shelves had been cleared. But though the locks were changed and the library door reinforced with steel, books continued to disappear at a steady rate during the police inquiry.

Gosse was so confident he left a rose on the main entrance door to tease Father Donius after a particularly successful visit. Gosse told the court: “I’m afraid my burning passion overrode my conscience. It may appear selfish, but I felt the books had been abandoned. They were covered with dust and pigeon droppings and I felt no one consulted them any more. There was also the thrill of adventure – I was very scared of being found out.”

Covered with dust and pigeon droppings. Gack.

Science to the rescue:

The mystery was finally solved when police installed a hidden video camera while the monks and nuns attended their Pentecost services. As night fell, the police watched Gosse fill three suitcases with books. They arrested him while he was still carrying the rope he needed to climb down the outer walls.

This went on for two years. Years. Jeez. Religious people need to read more.

September 24th, 2011

morning funny

How much you want to bet this guy is tall?

via Wimp

September 12th, 2011

literary humor

via Hark, a vagrant

Thanks for the link Mango, funny is good

September 7th, 2011

elk addiction

A drunken elk in a tree gets help from neighbourhood, police and hunter. Once freed it sleeps off its drunken stupor on the lawn and then carefully toddles away.

We often see elk stuffing their faces with apples around here but this is the first time we found one perched in a tree,” he told The Local.

That’s fermenting apples, mind. I wonder if they get headaches too.

via Stephen Fry